There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
