OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
