She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The power of my boobs compel you
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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