I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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