the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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