he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
