found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I love having hate sex.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
