too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
