in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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