I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
