why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
