Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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