i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i now understand why vodka
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
