Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize