farters have to be the big spoon...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize