guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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