We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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