period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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