She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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