If i come over, it means nothing
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
