You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
