This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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