Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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