i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
