I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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