I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
