Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize