Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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