don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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