She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
