I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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