Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
