She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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