lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
