He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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