My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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