Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
