Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
