maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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