We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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