I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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