he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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