What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
