tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
