I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize