$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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