New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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