I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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