I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
