i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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