I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize