What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
