doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize