If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
