She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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