Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
