I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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