Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize