i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
