If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
How many fucks given?
0.12846
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
