i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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