well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
