living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's rum buckets o'clock
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
