I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
no you cant smoke seaweed
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
