Ambien. No doubt about it.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
